Happy New Year

Wow, it's been nearly a year since I last posted here... and I didn't post at all while I had that web design job..

Now I'm unemployed once more..

I probably would have just complained about never getting paid on time, or paid in full, or getting my wage slips.

I finally quit last week - I gave my week's notice the week before...

Thursday, 4th January. The boss came back from his holiday and comes into the office around 4.30pm. Apart from the obligatory "Happy New Year", the first thing he says to me about an hour later was that I've spent too long on a project and that it's supposed to be finished already - then he threatened me with instant dismissal if I can't justify the time I spent on it to him the next day. He said my attitude was pissing him off. My face felt like it was burning and I could feel it turning red. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't know what to say so I just said "Ok" like I usually do whenever he gives me work to do and went downstairs. I felt like quiting right there and then but somehow I didn't say anything. I got my coat and my bag and whispered to my coworker, "I think I'm going to quit tomorrow", and then left the office. My coworker obviously heard every word because it's an open-plan office and the boss is just on the second level.

I've never been spoken to like that before. I felt betrayed - I lost all confidence and trust in him as a boss.

I have a bad attitude? I have been 100% dedicated to my work, I don't even take coffee breaks or lunch breaks. If there's a problem with the system he tells me to stop relying on the programmer for help and use my own initiative, but then if I'm taking too long I should pass it onto the programmer. How am I supposed to learn anything? The programmer is totally swamped with a million projects and can't help me all the time. He won't hire another programmer or either they don't want to work for him - the last programmer he hired only lasted a month..

A month before he said the same thing to my coworker - completely out of the blue as well. He said he had a bad attitude and that it was pissing him off - almost word for word. We were both completely confused as to where this outburst came from.

So anyway, I come into work the next day and I'm waiting and wondering and worrying if it's going to be my last day - if I'm going to be fired. I said 2007 was going have a lot of firsts for me - getting fired for the first time ever would probably count. My coworker says not to worry - he'll have a word with him for me.

But the boss is late. The boss finally comes in at 11.45am. Was he going to call me to his office and shout at me again and fire me? No. He acts as if nothing at all has happened and just asks us what projects we're working on.

At 12pm my coworker goes up to his office for a regular project update meeting. It suddenly turns sour when the boss accuses my coworker of having a bad attitude again and that he has to be a better manager - but that's not his job - it's the boss' job. The boss says he only wants to get the jobs in and not have any creative input - but how are we supposed to know what the client wants if we don't meet with them and the boss doesn't want any creative input? It's madness. He doesn't want to be a motivator or boost our moral - and it shows - there was just a horrible feeling of dread in the office for the past month.

Finally, he says that we're completely disposable or replaceable. My coworker has had enough and just walks out.

I'm left alone with the boss... what was I going to do? There was no way I was going to stay working there - especially on my own with him. I text my coworker to ask if he's really quit and he says yes, he's had enough.

I'm sitting there quietly doing my work of half an hour when the office phone goes off. I take a message and it gives me an excuse to go to his office. He tells me to sit down and to have a chat because I must have overheard his conversation with my coworker.

He says things have to change around the office. There's a cash-flow problem and by the end of the month if things don't improve there will be lay-offs. Er.. my only coworker just quit and you can't fire the programmer, so it's just me left. He was basically giving me till the end of the month. Did I have any questions? My mind was blank.. then I remembered that he owes me £30 from my last paycheck. He said he doesn't owe me anything because he gave me a bonus the month before which more than covers the £30 and that I can now keep the difference as the bonus. I went back to work.

A client comes in for a meeting which lasts for nearly two hours. The phone goes off several times - clients are looking for my coworker but the boss doesn't tell them he's quit.

I couldn't concentrate - I kept thinking about how I was going tell him I was quiting but the meeting with the client seemed to go on forever. When the client finally left I said to the boss that we have to have another chat..

I tried to be as calm as I could. I told him that I didn't feel comfortable staying working for him. I told him about the late wages, the late wage slips and not paying me in full. I told him that the way he spoke to me was upsetting and unacceptable. Ugh.. my voice was getting really wobbly at that point. He apologised for those things, but I wasn't going to stay. I gave him a weeks notice.

The next week was bizarre. He was being really nice to me - just trying to talk to me - which he never did before. He wrote me a check for the money he owed me. He said he didn't want people on his payroll because paying people's taxes and National Insurance was too much hassle - he prefers using freelancers so he doesn't have to deal with that stuff. He originally planned to have my coworker be the manager of the office so that he could spend a couple of months in Dubai. He wanted me to stay until the end of the month - and that I could carry on working as a freelancer for him. I said I would think about it but didn't promise anything.

When I finally made up my mind not to stay - he says that he thought we had agreed that I was going to stay until the end of the month. I did no such thing! I made it clear that I wasn't staying and then he tried to guilt me into staying.

He said there were loads of unfinished projects: yes, but I already took them as far as I could - they needed to be finished by the programmer or were just test sites that were only missing the contents now. Then he started saying something about how he "took me from the job center" - I stopped him there.

I'm grateful that he gave me a break and a job as a web designer - my dream job - but I don't think I've learnt anything significant the entire time I've worked there. The ASP code I learnt was only to modify the system the programmer created - I don't think I can apply it to anything else. It just felt like working in a production line for websites.

Then I made it absolutely clear that I was leaving the next day. He said I was being unreasonable.

My final day went surprisingly ok. He was calling freelance agencies all day and I overheard that some were charging £150-£180 per day but he said he could only afford £100 - which is more than me and my coworker combined. At the end of the day we shook hands and he said there was freelance work if I wanted it. I gave him my keys to the office, my address to send my final payslip and P45 and left the office. I hope the two weeks wages he owes me gets paid on time..


Now I'm just looking for a job that pays me on time, in full and gives me my wage slip. Is that unreasonable?

1&1 suck more than I can even imagine!

My webspace finally gets changed to MS Hosting so I can use ASP - great.

But I can't change folder permissions through ftp - I have to log into the crappy 1&1 site to do it AND it only works in Internet Explorer!!!

Who uses Internet Explorer these days?! Nobody! Anyone with half a brain uses Firefox or Opera (unless it's the only browser you can use at work - hey Gypchan! <3 )

Anyway, I've been researching ASP Rich Text Editors for work. It's so that clients can update websites by themselves and we can just provide them with a template. It sounds great in theory - if only I can test it out and get on with making the templates!!

1&1 suck!

I've always thought my webspace has ASP enabled but it doesn't - and I only found out at the last minute when I had been given another assignment using ASP!

I have to upgrade to MS hosting - which doesn't have mySQL databases, only Access (i'll have to upgrade to an even more expensive package if I want mySQL). What are the chances that when I have to work with databases it'll be mySQL?! <_<

So I pay for the upgrade and they tell me it'll take at least 48 hours to sort everything out and I have to backup everything I've uploaded because it's going to get completely wiped...

It's now the third day and it still isn't sorted out -_-;

1&1 are so expensive too! Why did I ever listen to that lecturer at university and go with them <_< For £10/per month I only get 2.5gb space and 20gb of traffic

For the SAME price I can afford the most expensive plan, the "Gold Plan", from Canaca.com: 60GB of space and 1,500GB of traffic!!

I am kinda relieved that I haven't switched to Canaca hosting yet. Canaca don't have ASP at all...

Maybe when I get this permanent job I'll get an account with Canaca as well.. the Bronze Package is only £2.20/month and it's 20GB space and 500GB traffic - it's almost obscene!

1&1 are really fleecing me ;-;

Year of the Dog

It was such a hectic week @_@ A whole week of non-stop eating and drinking - it's a wonder that I didn't gain a stone or two...

The three-day celebration started on Sunday and we usually go to a Chinatown to watch a lion-dance and a meal - but we didn't this year. It gets so crowded and noisy - and my brother couldn't get time off work and my mum has arthritis - so it would be too much bother. I miss eating out though ;(

We made a whole load of food at home and watched the celebrations on the chinese channel XD

Usually, that would be the end of it. It's a three-day holiday but you don't really do anything special for the next two days. But then one of my stupid uncles from Surrey turns up unannounced with my cousins in tow <_< They're here to celebrate New Years... My aunt and a 4th kid din't come because he was sick.

It couldn't have been better timing - I had just gotten offered some work by that web design company I've been trying to get a job with - now i've got three annoying brats to contend with. Of course I couldn't get any work done with them around.

They were only going to stay for two days but my mum invited them to stay until Saturday because her birthday was on Friday <_<

Where were they going to sleep?!! It's only a three-bedroom house and all together there were now 9 people!!

My uncle made some remark about how me and my brothers should have moved out by now since we're all grown up <_< Die please.

We had to make a load more food. By the time they left our fridges were bare!

I let my cousins play on my PS2 - no way were they touching my PSP or DS. They wanted to use my computer as well but I wasn't going to let them! I tried to get some work done but it's so hard when they're always looking over your shoulder <_< "Why are you making a website about adult nappies?" -_-;

The day after New Years was my younger brother's 21st birthday - more eating and drinking...

I spent Thursday hungover and trying to keep my cousins entertained. We went shopping up Hanley and showed them around town.. but there's nothing much to see and I wasn't going to spend any money on them <_<

Friday was my Mum's and my older brother's birthday. Pretty cool that they share a birthday. More food and more drink x_x

Birthdays in my family are usually quiet affairs. We just have a nice meal together. But with my uncle and cousins with us they had to make it more rowdy.. and I hate rowdy.

I must have eaten the eqivalent of an entire birthday cake this past week.

My uncle and cousins left on Saturday morning. I was busy checking if they stole anything and I was missing a memory card for my PS2!

Something happy to write about

I can't think of anything >_<

This is one depressing blog

I think I'll wait until something good happens to me before I post again

That might be a long time haha

Priorities

I don't "need" another computer and I don't need software until I go freelance - what I really need right now is money to fix my house ;(

Almost very window has been smashed and my parents are tired of replacing them - we can't afford to anymore - we've been boarding them up and it looks a wreck

I live in a nice neighborhood - some people from Stoke even think it's posh! O_O

We're on the main road of the village and there used to be so many shops but now we're one of the only ones left. There used to be a grocers, a sweetshop, a bakery, an off-licence and even an ice-cream shop! Those are all gone now - they started to close one by one when the ASDA supermarket opened in 1990. The first one to go was the ice-cream shop ;-;

It's a pretty long road and the shops were spread out pretty evenly, but most of the shops are at the far end now and we're at the other end. There's a little sandwich shop and a tv repair shop that keeps us company.

The off-licence closed after they had a smash-and-grab and a load of their expensive bottles we're stolen. They used to have a really big window but it's been boarded up.

It's a quiet village so why was this happening?

Wilmot Drive - look it up. I even remember reading in the Sun a few years ago about it because it's so notorious. It's over a mile away from where I live and it's a horrible place - I've done deliveries there and you don't want to get caught there alone after dark =X

There was a large incident at the village youth centre a few months ago - i think i mentioned this before at the bbs. They had been causing trouble for several weeks - including our shop. They even smashed the window of the nice home-furnishing shop that always had a pretty window display - they used to have pretty cushions and curtains and stuff.

Anyway, the gang of youths decided to fight against the police and police dogs... are they complete idiots? A number of them were arrested and it turned out they all came from around Wilmot Drive. They come to cause trouble in our village because they have policemen patrolling their streets!

We need police patrols too! When we call the police they turn up hours later or don't even come out at all! One time we called the police and after about an hour they called us back and asked if there was still any trouble!! They didn't want to come down if the trouble makers had already gone! W.T.F!

There needs to be tougher laws on anti-social behaviour! Lock them all up!

We haven't had much trouble in the past two months - maybe the police have got it under control now? Could we replace the windows now without fear of getting them smashed in the same week?

It will cost from £1000 to over £3000 to get all the windows replaced...

only £699!!

that's how much Macromedia Studio 8 costs! that's excluding VAT though so it's really around £818 x_x

it's expensive but it has 5 programs: Flash, Dreamweaver, Fireworks, FlashPaper and Contribute

i've never used FlashPaper or Contribute but they seem like useful things to have =/

when i save up enough money i'll buy it and then i could go freelance \:D/ but there'll probably be another new version by then XD

if i was to buy Flash, Dreamweaver and Fireworks separately it would cost me £1147!! that's £1340 including VAT x_x so buying the Studio 8 package is the best way to go

Adobe Creative Suite 2 costs £646 ;__; that includes Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, two other programs and some stock photos

I was wondering why the hell these programs are so expensive and it just came to me - if everybody could afford it then anyone could be a web/graphic designer! XD

But still, I wish they were less expensive ;(

it was probably never meant to be...

i was trying to find the CDs with all my work and projects that I did at university - I have an interview on Friday and they need to see my work but my website isn't finished ;(

it's been a year but i finally found the CDs... and they've all rotted x_x

It's my fault. I bought cheap CDs - the stacks of 100 for £20 at PC World

They didn't have a printed side and i didn't stick a label on them - they just had the bare aluminium

I NEVER touch the flat sides of a cd - there are fingerprints all over them

the aluminium has actually corroded to the pattern of the fingerprints!

It could only have been my little brother - he's been going through all my CDs looking for jpop videos to watch and you'd think he's shuffling cards by the way he handles them!!

So, I'm basically screwed. It's like I never went to university! I have no work to show for it...

The only things I have are the few pieces I've uploaded years ago and the couple of Hello! Project drawings I did over the summer x_x That's mighty impressive!

It's probably God's way of telling me to take the data entry job

I've also lost the SweetS album, episodes 24-28 of live-action Sailormoon, and the BoA with Britney Spears concert part 1

I will never forgive him

Childhood Trauma #1

One day in primary school we had to design a treasure map - i think it was Year 4 (wow, i've been hung up on this since I was 8!). We were given a huge piece of paper - probably A2 size. We had all finished drawing our maps and it was time to colour it in. I was so proud of mine - it looked fantastic.

I would say I had a flair for design from an early age if there was a more macho way of saying "flair for design".

Anyway, the teacher from the class next door had to go do something for an hour so his class had to come into our room. Our teacher said they could help us colour our maps in.

Can you tell where this is going? XD

I was horrified. This little bastard comes and sits next to me and opens up his pencil case full of fluorescent markers!!! ;__;

My skull cave was bright pink, the sand was fluorescent yellow, my treasure boxes were green, the water was bright blue and he filled in my pirate ship with a black marker - he didn't even stay inside the lines u_u

We had to present our maps to the rest of the class afterwards and it LOOKED. LIKE. SHIT.

I'm not going to mention his name here but i will say that i have hated his guts ever since and i always will. It's not just this incident - he was a prick all through highschool as well

If by some chance that person is reading this: I HATE YOU! I WILL HATE YOU FOREVER!

Do I write too much?

At one time I never thought I'd even have a single blog but now I have two! I also never thought I'd write so much in one day... it's the most i've written ever since that day *cry* lol no, i'll tell you all about it tomorrow maybe - it's been over a year since it happened and I'm totally over it.. i think..

This blog is like cheap therapy or a sounding board for all the thoughts and feelings I've been bottling up... I blame Sabaku! I used to only have my goo blog and that was just for downloading mp4s! Now I have this one as well and I can't stop posting! I should be updating the goo blog grr!

I think I might write about things that keep me awake at night and childhood traumas - and I have many XD

I promise I won't get too emo >_<

I need another computer!

The first big purchase after I've got a job is definately a new computer. I've got two brothers and we only have 2 computers so it's not working out very well.

We've actually got a third computer that we bought in 1997, but we don't use it anymore because it's horrible and slow. It's kinda funny, I was still using it when I first started my Interactive Multimedia course at university in 2001, and I failed one of my projects because of it >_<

The thing only had a 1GB hard-drive - i had no room to install anything on there and it was slow as hell! The project I failed was about Flash - which is a bit ironic since it's now one of my strong points. I was so naive back then - I had no idea how where to get copies of the software or cracks for the trial versions.

I think it was also at a time where not everyone had a cd writer and people were afraid of copying the cds on the school computers XD I'd be directed to sites where they downloaded the software but I was on a 56k connection at home and there's no way i'm going to risk downloading programs and cracks at school XD

So, I ended up not finishing the flash animation because the trial version of Flash 5 ran out and I got a bad grade - i can laugh about it now lol...

I was a local student - a townie you might say - so i didn't live on or near the campus (maybe i should be called an "out-of-townie" lol) i couldn't really stay to use the computers in the evenings because i have to work for my parents >_<

When my student loan came through that November I went out and bought the most powerful machine i could get - I'm using it right now! I've been upgrading it and everything but I think it's time for a new one. The semester after that, i got broadband and i've never looked back! lol 56k should be outlawed!

The next year at around the same time, my new computer crapped out! What was I going to do! All my work was on there and it was a few weeks from the end of the semester deadline!

I went out and bought a laptop with my student loan...

Luckily I had backups of my work on disc, but I was without a computer for over a week so a few projects were rushed and I only got 7/15 for one of them ;(

It turned out that the power supply had blown and i just need a new one >_<

So that's the story of how I got my two computers. They've both crashed several times since then and one time with tragic, life-changing results ;-; But I'll leave that story for another day - tomorrow maybe, but let's finish this one..

We have two computers between three people and it's not working out. My house is not a democracy. Since I'm the only one without a job, I don't get to use the computers whenever I like. I can't help pay the bills or the broadband connection so they always use that against me. But I'm the only one who helps with the family business!! ;-;

You might be asking why I haven't just gone for a retail job sooner - that's a good question lol I don't know. Whenever I was at the job centre, every week they just said "Sorry, no design jobs today. Better luck tomorrow!" or something to that effect haha...

When they put me on the New Deal scheme they said I can't be choosy anymore - I have to go for any job they put infront of me.. mostly admin jobs. I've even signed up to 3 different agencies but still nothing. I apply to the admin jobs and I get rejected because I'm probably too old, over-qualified or not a woman (they probably want a female secretary to make their tea <_< ).

On that course I went on, I was advised to "dumb-down" my CV for office jobs - if they only require GCSEs (highschool qualification) then don't put that you have a degree on there! and it worked! it got me my first reply!

Er.. I've gone off track.. where was I? ^^; Oh yeah, once I get a job I can buy another computer and then there'll be no squabbling \:D/

UKOnline is messing me about! GRR!

We used to have 0.5mb broadband with Freeserve but then Gravi told me about UKOnline's 8mb broadband so we jumped at the chance and decided to switch.

The connection with Freeserve was actually a bit faster at 0.7mb. We were told we could only switch "like for like" and then we could upgrade. We found the 0.5mb connection was exactly that - only 0.5mb x_x

Then they said the 2mb and 8mb broadband was only for new customers because they can't upgrade people right now. >0 We switched to a slower connection ;-;

That was 6 months ago and now then sent us an email saying we can finally be upgraded - so we signed up for the 8mb again but they tell us that we're so far away from the exchange that it would be more like 4mb. We decide to go with the 2mb instead - it's 4 times as fast as what we've got now.

That was two weeks ago <_< They said we should expect our broadband to be upgraded around October 5th... 3 days ago

Now UKOnline is promoting a 24mb connection for under £30/month

I just want 2mb ;-;

YMMWTBAM!

I was on a course for the past two weeks (yeah, I've talked about this elsewhere - so sue me!). It was a course sponsored by the job centre designed to improve team building and communication skills - but i reckon it was also an intensive job-searching boot camp to make sure we were actually looking for jobs! XD You only get sent there if you haven't found a job in six months.

The first day was horrible - half of them were chavs who didn't even want jobs! >_<

I went shopping around Hanley in my lunch hour and there are sales on everywhere ^-^ My brother told me about a shop called Gemini that was having an "up to 75% off" sale and they sold genuine Burberry goods. He bought a pink Burberry scarf as a birthday present for a friend.

I thought maybe I should go buy some things as Christmas presents while they're cheap XD But when I got there they had jacked up the prices again ;-; Burberry is pretty expensive - chavs like to dress head to toe in fake Burberry and tracksuits with gold chains. It's horrible.. I had to do team building exercises with them...

Utada Hikaru released her European debut single, You Make Me Want To Be A Man, a couple of days ago but I couldn't find it anywhere in HMV. It's not a very good song and i was going to give it away as joke Christmas presents XD

Anyway, the intensive job-search that they made us do on the course.. we had to do it for 3 or 4 hours everyday (with breaks of course but it was still mind-numbing). We had to look on the internet and in the phonebook and make a list of all the employers we wanted to send speculative letters to.

It's not that different from what I've been doing for the past 6 months! I haven't been sending speculative letters though =/ I've only been looking at local design companies' websites and seeing if they had any vacancies.. i'm not a pushy person and it's totally against my nature to just say "giz a job!" like that guy from Boys From the Black Stuff XD (oh, you americans will probably have no idea what i'm talking about lol)

We had to redo our CVs (some of the chavs didn't even have one) and write cover letters according to their guidelines! I have never used centered text in all my life but the made me do it! We also had to include information about the New Deal in the letters as an added incentive for the employers. They also told me to omit that I can speak Cantonese in my list of skills.. because I have to avoid giving them anything that could be discriminated against - sad but true (but I've got "working for my parents' Chinese Takeaway" in the employment history XD won't they put two and two together?)

They set us targets like "send 10 letters out everyday"... there aren't that many companies in the phonebook! Usually I would include a CD with my work on it but I did't have anything prepared..

It might sound like I'm complaining, but I'm not. I've had 5 replies in one week! That's five more than I've had in the past 6 months!

I need a job ;-;

Some of you might be sick of hearing about my job-hunting exploits for the past couple of months and probably wish I stopped talking about it - ME TOO!

I had five interviews last week but I had to reschedule three of them because of a bus strike.

Two of them were for web design companies, one was for a data entry job, one was an office job and the last one was for a retail job.

I've been offered the data entry job and I've accepted it - but it doesn't start for another two weeks so I'm going to see how these other interviews go and if I'll get a better offer! It's £7-£10 an hour but the hours are from 10pm-6am x_x

The web design company i went to on Tuesday, Milestone, was interesting - it was my first ever interview!! I think it was disaster ;_; They tell you always be positive and never say you can't do anything.. it felt like I couldn't do anything and I had virtually nothing to show him!!

He got me to work on some sites he was developing to see what I could do - and I was working SO SLOWLY >_< I think it's a combination of nerves and the fact that I've only been using Flash and Illustrator for doing personal bits and pieces for the past 6 months... I had to figure out how to use Dreamweaver again x_x

I've worked there for a total of 2 days - two afternoons and one full day - and he's only mentioned in passing something about a trial or training period and he'll look into the New Deal (a government scheme that pays employers to employ a person who has been looking for work for over 6 months). I hope he gives me an offer soon but will it be more than £7/hour? XD

I'm so conflicted right now.. I DESPERATELY need money but I also really want a job that I'll enjoy..

Web design isn't a simple 9-5 job either - you have to work odd hours and often take your work home with you - which is another problem because I have to work for my parents at 5pm because they can't afford to hire anybody!

I really can't decide! Can't someone decide for me?! XD

Ok, I'm going to list the Pros and Cons of each job:

Graphic/Web designer:
Pros - it's a job a really want to do and i know i'll love doing it
Cons - working after 5pm, taking work home, it might be poorly paid because I'm inexperienced

Data Entry
Pros - £7-£10 per hour
Cons - horrible hours, mindless work, no job security, no resposibilty (is this also a pro? lol)

Retail
Pro - err.. i guess the hours are ok
Cons - i'll hate it, it pays sod all

Office job
Pro - the hours are good, i can carry on working for my parents in the evenings, there's little responsibilty so i don't have to bring my work home
Cons - i'll be an OL!! (Office Lad)


So far the Data Entry job and office job are looking pretty good. I really want the designer jobs but i can't work odd hours and they probably won't pay very well because i have no experience...

The only reason I can take the Data Entry job is because that's when my parents' shop closes... I'll be a night worker! I'll be working 2 jobs!! I'll be sleeping during the day and working at night ;-;

Maybe if I take the data entry job, save up the money to buy the computer programs I need and then I can become self-employed! It's another possibility but it sounds scary and complicated.

Hopefully this will all be decided by the end of next week after I've attended all the interviews..

Wish me luck!

Hmm..

This blog isn't very user friendly - you have to add links directly into the code and save it and then publish it again

Yay new blog!

I decided to follow Sabaku and create a blog here.

I'll use this more for my personal stuff and leave my Goo Blog for the mp4s

The selection of themes isn't a large as Goo's - hopefully they'll have some cuter ones later OR i could design my own - i'm supposed to be a designer after all ^^;